Friday the 13th — Laura

Oh man. Friday the 13th. This is not what I need right now. We are also starting up yet another round of Mercury Retrograde, which means you should just go into your burrow and stay there until, oh, July 2.  Especially this Friday. Unless you want to finish up some projects. You can do that, I guess, during Mercury Retrograde. You just can’t do anything else because it’s going to fly back in your face. I’m just telling you what I know.

I haven’t yet had a bad experience with Friday the 13th, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. When I lived in New York I did notice that weird thing where there is no such thing as a 13th floor- anywhere. Because, you know– 13th floors are unlucky. Maybe it’s that no one will rent a 13th floor, and so buildings like to pretend that they don’t have one. Someone should tell those people on the 14th floor why their sales numbers are so low and why fires keep breaking out in the company microwave (hint: it’s not the frozen burritos’ fault).

I guess we also have to talk about Jason, of the Friday the 13th movies. He’s the one in the hockey mask who kills people at summer camp; apparently (according to my deep Wikipedia research) because when he was a kid/camper the camp staff was negligent and they let him drown in the lake. Whoops. Why he gets to come back as an adult is another question.

As a former camp staffer, I would like to have seen the safety precautions these camp staffers did or did not take on the waterfront. I know at my camp, we had a buddy system, and if a buddy disappeared, someone would run up and ring the big bell, and then all the counselors were supposed to come running, make a human chain, and do a sweep of the waterfront, everybody diving down in unison when the water became too deep to keep walking.

My guess is that Jason’s camp did not have this. Then again this all happened in the 70s, a time when seat belts didn’t even exist.

My point here is that I don’t think Jason is funneling his frustrations in a productive manner. He could have used his unfortunate death as motivation to return to promote the cause of waterfront safety. But instead he chose to return and kill as many people as possible. He’s not paying it forward. He’s obsessed with vengeance but it’s never going to be enough, apparently. Jason, if you’re listening, I think it could be good for you to create a blog, where you talk about the following things:

Lifeguard training

Life vests

Swimming lessons

You could even partner with some local (or national!) organizations and get sponsorships. Let’s turn this thing around, Jason. Because if this continues, someone is gonna have to catch you in a ghost net and let you loose on the “14th” floor of some Wells Fargo mortgage building. And nobody wants that. Or then again, maybe they do.



Friday the 13th — Tara

You know, even as the resident psychic of this duo, I don’t consider myself superstitious. I don’t avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalks, I don’t think black cats are bad omen… Which is good, since I have a black cat. Many of what used to be considered superstition, now just seems to be obsessive compulsive behavior. That said, I do get a little worried when the 13th falls on a Friday. I was having a brief conversation via text today, while playing music on my iPhone, and what do you know? Stevie Wonder’s Superstition starts playing.

I used to to think Friday the 13th was kinda neat, being so unlucky and everything. But I never paid much attention. In 1997, I had a very unlucky Friday the 13th. It was 2 days after the full moon, I burned sage a little too much sage. Whoops, the entire sage wand had smoldered until it was all ash. And I’d had some bad portends, I had been getting some free online Rune readings and I kept pulling the Hail Rune, which I guess is like the Tower in Tarot. Things were about to fall apart.

It was the night before Valentines Day, and a sort of had a date, sort of. I had plans to see a movie with a guy I was crushing on. We’d hooked up once but I was hoping to ultimately be more than just friends. In the parking lot of the theater, I lost my wallet. After the movie, my friend decided that we needed to have a talk about our relationship. That there was no relationship, just friendship. I was down when I got home and let my cat go outside, it would be the last time I would ever see him. I spent much of Valentine’s Day weekend crying over my missing cat, who was probably hit by a car.

Monday, I went into work and was told, I was in danger of losing my job. And I got a call from the movie theater, stating they had my wallet, someone had found it in the parking lot of the movie theater. (I guess that wasn’t so unlucky). Tuesday, my roommate told me she would be moving out by the end of the month. Wednesday, I went to visit my best friend and his water heater exploded. I was really beginning to feel like a jinx. By  the next Friday, my best friend persuaded me to come out to see the Wedding Singer in the theater, and the film got stuck in the projector and was burned, just 20 minutes before the end. I never saw the end of the movie until it came out on video. I suppose it’s ironic that the film I’d seen the week before was Great Expectations.

We face another full moon and Friday the 13th in the next day or so. Hopefully this time, I won’t have too many old patterns that need to break down and need to be rebuilt. I guess we’ll see how I’m doing this weekend.