Oh man. Friday the 13th. This is not what I need right now. We are also starting up yet another round of Mercury Retrograde, which means you should just go into your burrow and stay there until, oh, July 2. Especially this Friday. Unless you want to finish up some projects. You can do that, I guess, during Mercury Retrograde. You just can’t do anything else because it’s going to fly back in your face. I’m just telling you what I know.
I haven’t yet had a bad experience with Friday the 13th, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. When I lived in New York I did notice that weird thing where there is no such thing as a 13th floor- anywhere. Because, you know– 13th floors are unlucky. Maybe it’s that no one will rent a 13th floor, and so buildings like to pretend that they don’t have one. Someone should tell those people on the 14th floor why their sales numbers are so low and why fires keep breaking out in the company microwave (hint: it’s not the frozen burritos’ fault).
I guess we also have to talk about Jason, of the Friday the 13th movies. He’s the one in the hockey mask who kills people at summer camp; apparently (according to my deep Wikipedia research) because when he was a kid/camper the camp staff was negligent and they let him drown in the lake. Whoops. Why he gets to come back as an adult is another question.
As a former camp staffer, I would like to have seen the safety precautions these camp staffers did or did not take on the waterfront. I know at my camp, we had a buddy system, and if a buddy disappeared, someone would run up and ring the big bell, and then all the counselors were supposed to come running, make a human chain, and do a sweep of the waterfront, everybody diving down in unison when the water became too deep to keep walking.
My guess is that Jason’s camp did not have this. Then again this all happened in the 70s, a time when seat belts didn’t even exist.
My point here is that I don’t think Jason is funneling his frustrations in a productive manner. He could have used his unfortunate death as motivation to return to promote the cause of waterfront safety. But instead he chose to return and kill as many people as possible. He’s not paying it forward. He’s obsessed with vengeance but it’s never going to be enough, apparently. Jason, if you’re listening, I think it could be good for you to create a blog, where you talk about the following things:
You could even partner with some local (or national!) organizations and get sponsorships. Let’s turn this thing around, Jason. Because if this continues, someone is gonna have to catch you in a ghost net and let you loose on the “14th” floor of some Wells Fargo mortgage building. And nobody wants that. Or then again, maybe they do.